between my earbuds

You just never know what’s going on between those earbuds. Yes I bought
a refreshed (but not refurbished) ipod mini. A friend asked what sort of
hillbilly hootenany music I had on it. In truth I now have sorted the
A Knock At Midnight: Inspiration from the Great Sermons of Rev. Martin
Luther King, Jr (original recorded sermons).
morningprayer’s podcast: daily readings from the Book of Common Prayer
Books(!): George Orwell, 1984.
Carl Sandberg: Chicago Poems.
TS Eliot selections from Wikipedia.
And yes there is the hootenany music: I select downloads from each time they’re posted.
Also: Son Volt, Okemah
Dylan, Blood on the Tracks
and I still have half the ipod free for other stuff when I need it. I’ll
be using it as a flash drive for files at work as well.

So I’ve been asking myself am I a yuppy yet? The earbud is a yuppy
signifier. I could spray paint or model paint or nail polish paint them.
Or I could just leave it alone. Also included in the box were two apple
stickers. I won’t be using those.

It is profoundly ironic that the Apple symbol is somehow a felt symbol
for bucking the system. I see them on cars next to punker bumper
stickers. The other day I went down to the Apple store because I was
impatient with the shipping time on my ipod. I walk up to the Apple
store on Michigan Ave. and am startled to notice that the front plate
glass window looks broken from the corner of my eye. As I get closer its
not really broken but an advertising stunt for their new radio ipod
service. Sickening. And I don’t mean that in the old “cool” vernacular.
(Now I sound like Montgomery Burns.)
I’m always sensitive to feeling controlled by advertisers. Since when
did “smashed” turn yuppy? Maybe I just haven’t noticed.
So I step inside this expensive box with a bitten apple on it and am
taken back by how packed the place is and yet how nothing these folks
are touching or viewing is the actual product they buy. They mingle with
store employees and discuss the merch. I overhear one geek correcting
the employee on his obvious technical “yesterdayness.”

The sick brand-as-life feeling permeates everything. The only way I know
this is a store is that the security guard knows I’m there to buy and
not mingle. He eyes me as I flit from place to place just looking for
the actual product to buy and not a store sample. I head upstairs. Oh,
here we go, earbuds and cases. I can actually hold and view these in
attempt to buy!
I head back downstairs and ask an employee where they keep the ipods. He
says they’re behind the counter in back. Ok. I stand in line and then
ask the clerk (wondering what sort of appley name they have for that
position) for a refreshed (not refurbished they don’t sell refurbished
products) Ipod nano. How much are they by the way? She can’t tell me the
price. She must ring it up. She goes in the back room then calls a
manager. “Do we have refreshed nanos?” “What color?” “Black.” “Step
aside and let me help the next customer while you wait.” “OK.” “Yes we
have a black nano.”

I look at it and am a little satisfied. No the truth is I hate it. It’s
the size of a large stick of gum. I’m sure I’ll smash it with my keys in
my pocket. If I’m forced to wear this large tongue depressor/stick of
gum on my arm as an ad I’ll walk around feeling like an idiot. “Go ahead
and ring it up.” Its way over what I thought. “Do you have any 4G
nanos?” Now the woman flashes that “You annoy me. You know you don’t
belong here. Let me drop everything to help you with your problem.”
winning smile and for a second disappears behind the back door. “Nope no
4G nanos!” “OK, sorry to bother you.” “Next.”

That was the most silly hour and a half wasted in my recent memory. And
if you’ve actually read this whiney rant and identify I pity you as well.


1 Comment

Filed under stories

One response to “between my earbuds

  1. Grant Miller

    Dylan rocks the world. Good luck with your ho’down

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