For the last week or so a good friend of mine who has a history of severe panic attacks has really been through the ringer. He and I have been close for about two years now. We share many interests, especially in spiritual and theological conversations. He has been a specific answer to prayer for me. Shortly before he moved here to JPUSA I asked God for someone who could come along side and really share in my conversations and interests. In this friend God gave me much more than I asked!
Now it really pains me to see him in physical, emotional and spiritual torment. I’ve never been so directly effected by mental illness. His panic attacks and post-concussion syndrom have spurred on mental obsessions that at this time are leading him into an in-patient facility. We’ve been spending hours together daily. I don’t think I’ve ever really known what it was to be a paraklete, a comforter and friend in a situation like this. My friend says all the time “this is scary as hell.” He can’t sleep, has little appetite and virtually no control of his mind. All I do is listen, remind him of our faith, and share the simple things that have helped me. Yesterday I was sharing something I received from Craig Slane’s Bonhoeffer As Martyr and I began to cry. I realized that this kind of deep reflection and willing to belief was exactly what I needed to hear!
Jean Vanier writes about belonging in community with those with mental illness in Community and Growth. While I’ve leaned for years on these writings, only with my friend recently have I had the joy of experiencing just a bit of what he describes as it is specifically related! Mental anguish, obsessive thinking, the feeling of immanent peril and irrational fear are way beyond my human ability to really help. I am personally so prone to fear and rebellion. Over the last week I have seen God come through for us. Of course I should say we are not alone. Numerous others here offered constant prayer and reassurance all along. I would appreciate your prayers as well.
ADKF 