This morning while reading 1 Samuel 11:1-14 (where Saul defeats the Ammonites), I set my coffee cup down on the couch arm like I always do, but this time my wrist fluttered just a bit, the cup tipped, and for some reason in surprise I pulled the cup back, pouring coffee all over my legs, my Bible, the floor, and the couch. There, in the middle of morning devotions, I had a little fit of embarrassment, shouting half profanities, fuming, whining, yelling. My wife, sitting only a few feet away, remained in the Spirit. She patiently, gracefully pointed out that it was all an accident, and only coffee. Maybe it was that I drenched the side of my faithful NRSV with the Apocrypha. Maybe it was embarrassment and fear over the loss of some motor skill. I felt like a child, helpless, frustrated, but mostly angry at myself. At any rate, this had to be, far and away, my worst reading accident ever.
But the story doesn’t end there. After all was cleaned up I wanted more coffee. I went over to the kitchen counter and poured coffee from the caraffe and then promptly bumped the cup spilling it all over the counter! Real married love is when my wife manages to keep it together through two such dimentia episodes. I seriously wonder if I’ve ever been so patient and graceful with her. I can’t remember.
So now I want to hear your worst reading accident. Did anyone set fire to themselves reading with a cigar? Has anyone been trying to read and drive or read and walk? Has anyone ever seen Neil Gaiman’s children’s book where a little girl trades her daddy for a goldfish and the whole time he just sits reading his newspaper? I want to know.
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